Despite rumors to the contrary...

I'm alive.

So, I haven't been able to update the blog in a while without the internets lovingly taken away by my employer.

I'm at my friend's and decided to hijack her's.

I just went to a phone service provider to help a friend get a new phone. And let me tell you, the salesman - he was a douche! All the phones that were available for purchase were pieces of crap. Especially the ones she was interested in. All except some blackberry thing. She liked it but when she asked about the internet options for it, he told her that the only internet available was $30 a month. So she said she don't need internet that bad and he walked away. He walked away several times, then once she was finally ready to get her phone, he was nowhere to be found. Just an all around bad sales person. Boo.

On to different phone issues, my phone (all touch screen all the time) no longer has a working touch screen unless it decides to work. It has a ghost. Or something. Whatever. I am mad at it. I don't have to pay for anything though. Can I get an amen for Warranty!?! Whoot! Now I just have to wait for the new one to show up.

On to new topics of interest to only me... Jonzey has really pulled a Saul to Paul transformation. He is really a bright spot in my life now. He makes sure I don't have things to do when I get home, like the dishes are done and the (and this is the best part) SOCKS ARE FOLDED!!!!! Dude. There is nothing better than coming home to a basket of folded socks. Mmmm... better than good foreplay.

Anywhoddle, I just thought I'd put a little somethin on here to show that I'm still alive and kickin. Hopefully I'll be able to this again soon. I have pictures of Halloween costumes. This year I did a Tinkerbell and Glinda the good witch of the North. Hopefully I'll be able to get them off of my phone sometime soon.

what's been on my mind...

So I'm sure there have been some of you out there at least wondering what the hell was going on in February to make me lose it.

It has been brewing in the back of my head and I can't really go forward here without coming clean.

Jonzey (my significant other for the last 11 years) is an alcoholic. On the anniversary of his grandmother's death he went crazy. He's been drinking since he was... oh... 12 maybe??? He had gotten drunk before then, but wasn't really "drinking" drinking. And it all culminated in a serious episode.

Jonzey tried to kill my brother.

The day (Sunday) started out ok... Jonzey went out trying to mediate between my brother and a common friend. I can't remember the deal but there was no animosity.

The day stretched on and the drinks flowed. Jonzey got drunk as usual and then decided to get all up in my brother's friend's face (we'll call him DT). Well DT couldn't defend himself due to court restrictions, so my Bro got up and told Jonzey he needed to back off and it escalated into a huge blow out in the strip club. They split up after and went their separate ways. Jonzey got home several hours (and drinks) later and *told me to call my brother (*told has more to it than words, but I'll leave that to your imagination). I got my brother on the phone and Jonzey fired a gun off in my house while I was on the phone with him. Needless to say my bro headed over immediately, not sure what was going on and scared for his sister.

In the mean time Jonzey and I went outside to wait for him (Jonzey had very bad intentions and I had to be right there).

When my brother pulled into the driveway Jonzey immediately started firing at his car. Thank God the only thing hit was the rear driver side window of his car.

Finally the cops showed up and I left with my friend.

He moved in with his grandfather the next day.

Now I know there are those of you out there are all.. WTF?!? And I have to say I agree.

Between a friend and I we kind of figured out the he was trying to either commit suicide by "cop" (my brother isn't a cop, but that's the closest I can get). If my brother died, he figured one of the family would do it for him. Not the best plan and also completely sub-conscience.

There is good news besides my brother's health.

Jonzey is now going to A.A. twice a week, trying to get his Honor GED and getting straight with God.
We are trying to work things out.

It is going really well.

He hasn't had a drink and has said that he doesn't *really* want one. It is still hard to walk into a bar, but not impossible.

He has lost a LOT of his anger, but still has to work through some of it. Now instead of "beer" bottling it up we talk through it.

He is still living with his grandfather, but we see each other regularly and are "dating." He watches Lu every day and will be going to take some classes as soon as he gets his Honor GED. This is something that he has needed to do for a while. He dropped out of school after 8th grade.

Crap!

I just wanted to post a quick note to say that my posts are going to be even more sporadic than ever.

Work shut me down.

I can no longer post from work, and since I have no internets at home (I am in the dark ages, no cable either) I can't update unless I steal my BFF's internets.

So, I'll see you occasionally.

I'll miss yous guys.

It's all for the dogs!

I recently made the decision to ban the dogs from my room every other night. This way I can have a semblance of regular sleep. In order to keep them out of my room and from completely trashing the house, this means that they must stay in their cage all night or sleep in Lu's room.

Since Lu's room looks like a clothes bomb went off all over the place, they are stuck in the cage for the time being.

Lu and I were discussing the best strategy for her clothes when we realized that we don't have one. She needs to get rid of clothes that don't fit her and find places for the clean clothes that do fit her. Now this wouldn't be a huge problem if she had anywhere near a normal amount of clothes, but she doesn't she has mountains of clothes. I'm not even kidding -


She also needs to have a plan of action for her "play room." Since we bought the first stupid house we even looked at (We're morons). We managed to score a 4 bedroom house (for 3 freakin' people - what were we thinking). That leaves us 2 rooms to use for whatever. One is my sewing room (a huge mess also), and the other is the room we use to throw all those toys that people insist on buying her (I would like to say here, that having an only child is the best way to accumulate a bunch of unnecessary crap), (and for people who can't figure out what to buy for "only children" start a college fund or something, no one needs that much STUFF).

We have been through that room several times armed with nothing but trash bags and even though just 4 months ago we got rid of this -


Her room? still looks like this -


She has until Saturday morning at 6AM (when the trash guys come) to get this taken care of. I am not doing it for her.

The deadline is all because of a giant Scooby toy that I've been trying to throw away for years. She brings down this stupid Giant Scooby, because "Mommy, it has a hole in it (yay!), and can you fix it?" I tell her, no, it's time to just throw it away. So she walks into the kitchen puts him down by the trash can (I'm in the other room and can't see her) and is gone for like 5 minutes. I walk in to see what's up, (thinking maybe she's down stairs or something) and I find her crying very quietly. She loves this stupid thing and really doesn't want to get rid of it. So we make a deal. Clean both of the rooms before trash day, or Scooby goes out with the trash. And as a bonus, once you've got your rooms clean, you can have the dogs every other night (Yeah, I'm sneaky like that).

If you have strategy that a 10 year old that likes to look at everything before it gets thrown away can follow I am ALL EARS.

HELP!

Jade meets Sarah...

It's on!

SMACK!


SLAP!


OOF!


"He's mine!!!!!"


THWAP!


"You made me bleed!"


"Give me that knife!"


And Sarah gets the knife...


"Let's see you walk now!"


"OMG!"


AGHHHHH!!!!!!


SPLAT!

THUMP!

"Don't lose your head Sarah."

mmm.........

Victory is MINE!

I'm waiting Joe.

It's Ok, no harm done - she is a Barbie(t).

The doctors have put Sarah's head back on, and she is resting.

Sarah and Jade have made up and are good friends now.

Will they want to separate for Joe?

*See the other version here.

She will cut you She is very skilled in combat

A friend of mine is looking for a speaker companion for his mascot, so I asked my daughter if she would contribute a Bratz to the cause.

My daughter picked Jade -

{Now I don't know if any of you are knowledgeable in the Bratz world, but Jade? She's the Asian. The Bratz have friends of all colors and there isn't a main Bratz doll, like there is a "Barbie." The Bratz have Jade (Asian), Jasmin (Hispanic), Sasha (African-American) and Chloe (Caucasian).}

Then sticks her in a "I smooch Paris" shirt.
To go live with GI Joe.
um... really?

Here's Jade -


Jade is kinda hot for Joe -


Now Joe gets to pick his mate, so I thought he might want to see her practicing her duties.

Here she is practicing sitting on a speaker -


And here she is holding her first dollar -



Jade also wanted me to pass on the message that she will cut Joe if he doesn't pick her she is very skilled in combat if that kind of thing is required -



Good Luck Jade!

Thirsty Thursday

I just realized I hadn't posted a drink recipe in a long time, so I thought I'd post this one -

Fizzy Navel
(It's the cousin of the Fuzzy Navel)

1 part Peach Schnapps
2 parts Orange Soda

Serve on the rocks

This is very similar to the Fuzzy Navel, but the soda is sweeter than juice. Also you get the bubbles, and bubbles always make things better.

*As a side note, we stumbled across this recipe when we didn't have any juice up at the lake, but had tons of Orange Soda. So we were all, "Hey, why not?" Then come to find out we are copy cats. I was looking for names to use, so I searched "Fizzy Navel" and low and behold it is a common drink. Damn! I thought we were special. Oh well. Shoulda known better.

Aaahhhhh!!!! So. Excited!

So I'm not going to be at Blogher, but I'm totally going to the People's Party!

And I've got my bi-atch talked into going with! YAY! Now I'll just go off and practice hiding in a corner, cause dayum... do you know who all is going to be there!!!!!

*scurries off to quiver in anticipation*

Happy Birthday!

I finally got to spring the great surprise on my daughter! She is turning the big 1-0 tomorrow, and she has been begging me to try to win her tickets to go see Taylor Swift. I told her we were trying to win her tickets but to not hold her breath. Of course as soon as I found out Ms. Swift was coming so close to us, so close to Lu's birthday, I immediately purchased 2 tickets (waaay back in Feb.).

Yesterday was the concert. She still had no idea! I had made her a skirt from some material we got at a garage sale for free, and I told her Auntie said she had to wear it. (Today is Auntie's birthday). So she's all decked out:



Then we tell her we have something for her to open for her and Auntie's birthday.

She sees, but doesn't really believe it...

Wait for it... There it is! She gets it, and is THRILLED!

And behold... two very happy birthday girls.

Prop. 8?!?

This is in response to Prop. 8 being passed yet again in California.

I would like to argue against marriage (as a legality) altogether. Since we have a separation of church and state, when did the state decide it was their responsibility to maintain authority over a church's concept. Editied to say; I just learned that the state got involved during a particularly awful outbreak of syphilis. Blood testing became a requirement in order to get a newly required license, so they could put a stop to the ever spreading disease. Marriage is something that was born in the church. It is not a concept that even needs to be "on the books" anymore.

I myself have been in a monogamous relationship for the last 11 years and the only thing stopping me from getting married is the fact that the government has to be involved. My daughter does not have issues just because technically she is a "Bastard" and there is only stigma about our relationship from those who were born before 1950.

I guess I just don't understand the feeling that the government should have any say whatsoever in "Marriage." I kind of get why the government is involved in it to some extent, taxes and insurance lawsuits (huh, I was all set to list several things and that's really it). But really, other than that, their place in marriage should not exist. What really needs to happen is a change in how insurance companies do business. My "old man" had insurance at one time that allowed a box for significant other as opposed to spouse. This would also take care of the emergency/icu room issues. And hell, people can change their name anytime they wish. How exactly is it determined that this person is the spouse? A driver's license has your name on it, not your spouse's. I know they don't really expect anyone to carry around their marriage license.

If people wish to go through a ceremony, to vow in front of their friends and family that this is the person they want to be with for as long as it's easy, then have at it! There should be no intervention from the government at all. Unless of course they want the government to document it (like a will). Then by all means have the government involved. Civil unions for everyone, no "marriage certificates" at all.

I would get married if I could go to a pastor and say, "I would like to have a wedding ceremony performed, but I don't want this to be sent in to the clerk's office. I just want God as our witnesses and you as our overseer." I don't however wish to enter into any kind of legal contract to anyone that requires me to go to the government to make sure they approve.

I apologize to anyone who welcomes the government into their lives, I'm just very passionate about having a life outside of what the government documents.

Solid Potato Salad - What?

Holy Crap! I stole this from youtube and my friend from work. You have to watch past the singing (which isn't bad just a little strange in th lyrics dept). You will be amazed and shocked.

Ice Cream Faces?

The other day (which could mean as far back as 6 months, or as recently as yesterday) we were out having a nice Sunday afternoon. We had a beautiful day and were totally taking advantage of it. Went to Fox Island to go nature walking.

- side story about that: The first time we took our daughter to Fox Island we walked around picked up neat things to show her and when we got home she said, "That was kinda like a nature walk, huh?"

- Anyway, it was kinda warm and we decided to go get some ice cream cones. So we hit a drive through and got some cones. I'm driving us back home or to Grandma's or something when I get this cold squishy feeling on my cheek. Jonzey had totally smooshed his cone on my face. So what do I do? Of course I start giggling uncontrollably because I'm trying to figure out how to get him back without him being aware of what is about to happen.

Then? Madness Ensues! I'm smooshing my cone in Lu's face, Jonzey's face and even occasionally my own face (potholes you know). Lu is trying to get something other than the back of either of our heads (back seats suck for ice cream fights, in case you didn't know) I got a cone stuck up my nose at one point. It was great! I don't think I had had more fun in quite some time. We made it wherever we were headed and commenced to cone-ing everyone there too. Lucky for us they didn't have any ammo. ;-)

I wish I had pictures, but alas I was driving and had to keep at least one eye on the road. I totally recommend at least one cone fight per summer, cause memories are important (it has nothing to do with that feeling you get when you squish ice cream in someone else's face, I promise) .

Flowers, Casa & Hair

My mom and my daughter did this together for me, for Momma's Day -

Lovely, no?

Then I got to go have my favorite salad ever for lunch.

My gift to myself on Mother's Day? A hair cut.

Around 9PM on Mother's Day, I decided I needed a hair cut. So I went into the bathroom and went to work. The only thing I had in mind was that someone I've never met thought this was cute.

So I went with it -

Sometimes I even impress myself. :-)

Aaaaghhhhhh Bills!!!!!!!!!!

Just thought I'd pop in and say that...

Cause, um... that is all I can think about right now.

I'll let you know when I can think again.

Thank you,

That is all.

commando?

Yeah, not talkin about the movie though...

What I want to know is how many of you have an opinion on going commando. Like does the lack of coverage induce extra whorey-ness? Or is it just "cleaner" to have coverage of the "moister" bits? (huh, I seem to be extra "quotey" today) Anyway, I guess my personal opinion is, anything that makes it easier for me not to wet my pants is okay in my book (what with squirting kids out and all). That extra layer having to come down often takes precious time that my kegel muscles just aren't prepared to deal with. Oh, and you know on those extra humid days how much fun it is to try and pull those suckers back up (especially if you are not quite the "hard body" you want to be). So now that I've got everyone thinking about their delicate bits...

How do you feel?

extra whorey

cleanliness wins

I like to feel the breeze

speed is of the escence

ugg boots

I've got the itch...

Yeah, um... Not that itch.

I'm itching to start working on Halloween Costumes already. I got my sewing machine working (after like 3 years of it being down) and everyone seems to be down to go Disney themed (in pairs even).

DJ - Hook (maybe)
Lu - Tinkerbell (definitely)

Caca - Lilo
Triscuit - Stitch

The Woman - Little Mermaid (maybe)
Me - Ursula (maybe)

They can all be seen here from last year.

Now, I really want to be Ursula. I've got the design done and some of my accessories. All I need is to find the material I want (am open to suggestions). She is an Octo-person, so I think her Octo-skin should be super shiny, to look like it's perma-wet. The only thing I've found that is close is expensive ($34 / per yard) and a pain to sew (seen here). Went to search for pics of the expensive stuff and *poof* I think I found my material. Yay! Now, if for some reason I decide not to be Ursula, my back up is Raggedy Ann. Kinda interesting, I'm goin for either Evil Sea Witch or Cute Lovable Dolly. Yeah... I'm weird like that.

I know that I've kinda lost the whole book theme (I haven't stopped reading though). I think I'm just gonna give that whole pretence up and say this blog has no general direction, just wherever my chubby little fingers take it.

TTFN... ooh I have a brilliant idea, maye I can talk Jonzey into being T-I-double Guh-er? Yeah I didn't really think so, but that would be cute yo.

The evils of Blackmail!

So, I've been blackmailed into writing more often. Hm... I still don't have anything blog-worthy. I guess I might be pursuaded into writing about going to the Vera Bradley outlet sale.

So, I took Friday off work to go shop at the sale with my SIL. We got there about half hour early so we wouldn't get stuck waiting in line outside. The capacity is like 5,000, and can't hold everyone that shows up at the beginning. After waiting the half hour, we went in. This was my SIL's first experience with this sale. She was ready though. We scored a couple of matching purse / wallet combo's, but most of the patterns didn't have a matching wallet. I got my mom a couple of place-mats for Mother's Day, and a couple of purses for myself. We aren't the crazy women that come to buy as much as possible for as cheap as possible, just so they can sell it.

Anyway, enough about that. We also went to the park this weekend. And can I just say, some kids should not be allowed to go to the park. There was one (he was with some friends, but I think if he hadn't been there, his friends wouldn't have been too bad) who just wouldn't stop. "Oh, here comes some ugly," " Hey you in the stupid American flag shirt - Come here so I can kick you're ass," "yo-mama - - - - ." The look on the kid's face that was "ugly" when he said that, and the "stupid American flag" shirt kid was mentally challenged. Didn't faze her though, she was runnin around talkin about how her super powers would take care of that bad guy.

I guess I don't really have anything else.

Oh, Jonzey hit the 60 day mark in AA (yay!) Still lives with Grandpa, but he's doing pretty good.

Yeah, that's it I guess. Maybe later this week I'll have something about our wonderful Dust-Control customers. You know how entitled everyone is now, I'm surprised I haven't gotten a lot of crap about - how expensive/ why isn't it free / my taxes this / you work for me... blah, blah, blah.

Regularity ;-)

I feel like such a posser posier poser. I have this blog that just sits here getting dusty. I read all these people I don't know (but feel like I do). I try to comment if the inspiration strikes. But I'm just not regular, damn it! (heh, heh I wonder if they make laxative for blogging)

Anyway I guess I just don't have the necessary gene for this. I'd like to be able to just run rampant about what happened yesterday... um... nothing? Or write several paragraphs on how I took the dog for a walk and he pulled me through puddle after puddle of gross mud (yeah that didn't happen, and it still only took like one sentence). Maybe my life is just too boring (yeah, it's not I promise I don't want anymore excitement), or I just suck at this whole writing thing in general. <- that right there is probably it in a nutshell.

Whatever, I'm still here trying to keep it regular (heh, heh still cracks me up). I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry I suck and I'll try to remember that it would probably be funny to read about how my dog that likes to sit in my lap when I'm in the recliner, once jumped into my lap and sat right down in my full bowl of cereal. You know it's not funny when you're kinda late to work because of it, but in retrospect, it is kinda funny that I said "fuck it," and ate the cereal anyway, then changed.

Here's to me trying to remember that I too can be regular. Even if that means once a week or something. (also can I just say how bad that would suck)

Jerry's Kids need your help

I am being locked up for "Good."

Help Me

I have to raise $1,600 by Jun. 2 or they'll lock me up.

If you are in the giving mood and want to help keep me out of jail go here.

If you would rather they keep me, they can be bribed here.

I am such a thief...

I am a new reader of The Bloggess and can I just say, um... WOW! She is one funny ass chick. Well today on her site was a video she had created on xtranormal.com. Leading me to see what I could make... Well here you go:



Heh, heh... Grandpa gets the credit for this one!

Red Water

This song makes me cry everytime I really listen to it.

Where'd I go?

I know I suck. Let's just get that out of the way now. But every time i try to think of something to post, it doesn't really seem to hold my attention. Of course nothing really seems to hold much of my attention anymore. I'm 2 episodes (3 tonight) behind with Heroes, I haven't even tried to watch Ugly Betty in 2 weeks or so (so lost there) I haven't really turned the T.V. on for the last 2 weeks. And just so you know I am usually an avid T.V. person (well if someone else turns it on anyway). Left to my own devices I just sit and read or stare at the wall.

I did manage to watch Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium on Saturday though. Really nice movie. Made me cry a few times though. Damn emotional scenes. I'll never get over how good some actors really are. Dustin Hoffman is the man!

I just thought I'd pop in and tell you what's goin on. Oh, and let all you man cleavage fans down lightly... I just couldn't get anyone to pose for me. I think it might be inappropriate if I just take the picture and post it without their approval. So I'm off to figure out where I went. Let me know if you see me so I have a good chance to start looking in the right place m-kay?

"Real Life" crept up on me

Okay, so I know I haven't posted in a super long time, but I've had reality all over the place. That's more important right? Anyway... About that reality thing. I feel like I should at least talk about what's going on, but I'm gonna skip over the parts that would have you all over my ass with judgements. (trust me - I'm all over my ass with judgements m-kay?)

Skipping over all the really crazy bits to say that - Yay, Jonzey is getting the help he needs to fix whatever it is thats not right in his brain!

Good thing #1 - He is trying to make up with God.
Good thing #2 - (relates to #1) Is going to get some counciling at a church.
Good thing #3 - Is going to AA tomorrow night.
Good thing #4 - One of his friends is going with him.
Good thing #5 - My brother is alive! - Yeah - I am so not going into that one.

So now that you're all confused and curious I'm gonna go back to work, m-kay?

Hm......

My last post pretty much sums it up for me (it's a burn out). I just don't know what to say anymore. My cousin thinks I should have some kind of cleavage shot of the week (or something like that). I have to say I'm sure that would totally bring the traffic, but I'm not sure I really want that kind of traffic. I will concede that it might be fun asking people I know (or don't) if they would like to put their Lady Lumps on the internets. Of course then there's the man cleavage... That would be hilarious. I might have to do it just to watch the stats. I can just imagine the comments that would come from that.

*Man searches internet for "Cleavage"
*Man get sent to this sight and is show "Man Cleavage"
*Hilarity Ensues...

So just so my readers reader doesn't walk away from this post completely dissapointed...

(.)(.) <- There you go 'Foxy' those are for you.

Wordless Wednesday

Oh Crap, why isn't the water going down?!?

What's been goin' on at my house lately? I'm glad you asked... This here picture below is what I've been dealing with lately.

We tried plunging, drain clearing liquids, plunging some more, boiling water, snakes (only to find out whoever designed the pluming in this house was really stupid), and more plunging. So Instead of just leaving the dishes piled up (see above picture) and just eating fast food every day I began to take the dishes here ↓

.

Yeah, that's my bathtub (sorry about the stains). Now I'm sure there are those of you out there that know how much fun it is to be on your knees for 1/2 an hour or so, but for those of you who don't know... It sucks pretty badly (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more). So we had to resort to:

They had to drill a new hole under my sink because the original pipe went down from the sink backward into the wall and then made a 90 turn right to meet up with where you can see the old pipe in the picture above. So now we have a pipe that runs straight down from the sink as you also can see above. We had to hook into the old pipe because we couldn't find the air vent, so we just ass-u-me-d it ran up from the old pipe.

Also as a bonus you get to see how very creapy gross my basement is (we call this area our "Dead Body Room"). This room is the old coal storage room. Can I just ask how smart it really was to put the sink plumbing right next to the coal shoot?