what's been on my mind...

So I'm sure there have been some of you out there at least wondering what the hell was going on in February to make me lose it.

It has been brewing in the back of my head and I can't really go forward here without coming clean.

Jonzey (my significant other for the last 11 years) is an alcoholic. On the anniversary of his grandmother's death he went crazy. He's been drinking since he was... oh... 12 maybe??? He had gotten drunk before then, but wasn't really "drinking" drinking. And it all culminated in a serious episode.

Jonzey tried to kill my brother.

The day (Sunday) started out ok... Jonzey went out trying to mediate between my brother and a common friend. I can't remember the deal but there was no animosity.

The day stretched on and the drinks flowed. Jonzey got drunk as usual and then decided to get all up in my brother's friend's face (we'll call him DT). Well DT couldn't defend himself due to court restrictions, so my Bro got up and told Jonzey he needed to back off and it escalated into a huge blow out in the strip club. They split up after and went their separate ways. Jonzey got home several hours (and drinks) later and *told me to call my brother (*told has more to it than words, but I'll leave that to your imagination). I got my brother on the phone and Jonzey fired a gun off in my house while I was on the phone with him. Needless to say my bro headed over immediately, not sure what was going on and scared for his sister.

In the mean time Jonzey and I went outside to wait for him (Jonzey had very bad intentions and I had to be right there).

When my brother pulled into the driveway Jonzey immediately started firing at his car. Thank God the only thing hit was the rear driver side window of his car.

Finally the cops showed up and I left with my friend.

He moved in with his grandfather the next day.

Now I know there are those of you out there are all.. WTF?!? And I have to say I agree.

Between a friend and I we kind of figured out the he was trying to either commit suicide by "cop" (my brother isn't a cop, but that's the closest I can get). If my brother died, he figured one of the family would do it for him. Not the best plan and also completely sub-conscience.

There is good news besides my brother's health.

Jonzey is now going to A.A. twice a week, trying to get his Honor GED and getting straight with God.
We are trying to work things out.

It is going really well.

He hasn't had a drink and has said that he doesn't *really* want one. It is still hard to walk into a bar, but not impossible.

He has lost a LOT of his anger, but still has to work through some of it. Now instead of "beer" bottling it up we talk through it.

He is still living with his grandfather, but we see each other regularly and are "dating." He watches Lu every day and will be going to take some classes as soon as he gets his Honor GED. This is something that he has needed to do for a while. He dropped out of school after 8th grade.


oddchance78 said...


Since I've known Jonzey since he was five and he's like my brother, even when he's at his worst and I want to wack him in the head with a bat AGAIN, I understand him and love him anyway.
He's needed to hit bottom for a LONG time and though we both knew it wasn't going to happen til he lost you and Lu. I'm not glad IT happened, but I'm glad it HAPPENED. He's coming back to life and he has you to thank. Be strong, I know it's hard. I'm here.


Anonymous said...

stay safe and good luck hope to read more on your blog soon.